Order - Disorder - Higher Order

If I did not stop by on the highway for a breather at Rawang rest area, I would not have discovered that I have left my wallet back in Ipoh, about hundred over kilometres away. All important documents such as my identity card, driving license and bank cards were left behind. To my utter dismay, I did not have a single cent with me! You guess is as good as mine: what was I to do?

At that moment of time, I thought God has played a joke on me or something. I remembered vividly that I have put my wallet safely into my pocket and no way would it slip out… And at that moment, I was frantically searching my car, my luggage and bags, hoping that miracles would happen. Well, miracles did not really happen the way I have wanted it to.

I was between the devil and the deep blue sea: I was at my wit’s end because I could not make a U-turn back to Ipoh which was about a hundred kilometres away; neither could I continue my journey because I would not have money to pay the toll! I was literally stranded in the middle of nowhere.

It paid off to remain cool, calm and confident. There is a saying that if the problem can be solved with money, it is not really a problem. To some extent, the theory proved to be right at that miserable time and space. I managed to get a friend to meet me up at the Restoran Jejantas rest area. Generously, he handed me MYR 200 so that I could survive the week until I managed to retrieve my wallet and my bank cards. At the Burger King restaurant, we celebrated our friendship and my misfortune.

On Saturday of that same week, the very friend that rescued me from “temporal damnation” called me up grumbling that he has missed his flight to Sibu. He mistook the arrival time at Sibu as the departure time from Kuala Lumpur!

And my friend jokingly blamed me for having infected him with my virus. The virus was not deadly but costly. We laughed at our stupid mistakes.

And yes, carelessness can be contagious.

P/S: After the incident, when I looked back at what has actually taken place, I was amazed at my being at peace despite things have gone terribly and unexpectedly wrong. The little trust that was with me assuring things would be under control kept me sane. If that was not a miracle or God’s Providence, I did not know how to term it.

(Guilin, China)

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I was told a church worker reprimanded the university students during one of their gatherings when the students questioned about the existence of God and the image of God. He left the students with no choice, “You must believe in God. You should not question!” And if I have my facts correct, the church worker was also deliberately branding the students as “confused & lost group”.

Oh gosh, since when we have returned to the dark ages where no one was supposed to question the church teaching or church authority? The whole incident reminded me of Galileo Galilei who spent the rest of his life under house arrest for supporting heliocentrism publicly. In those days, the church sanctioned geocentrism whereby there was a common belief that the earth was the centre of the universe. And when Galileo upheld heliocentrism, the Church felt challenged and reacted towards the critical thinker.

After the long stretch of history that the Church is shameful of, the Church learnt from her past sins, moved forward and changed for the better. It was a constant purification that the Church was undergoing: the Church has learnt to be more inclusive and open towards critics and critical thinkers.

The intention of the church worker might mean well. But it would not help the students in their search for truth. We have often blamed it on the Malaysian education system that is churning out more and more brainless robots. In search for truth, it always involves critical thinking, constant questioning, tireless searching, continuous sieving and frequent verification or validation. When we stop the students from thinking and questioning, we are interrupting the learning process and depriving the Church of intellectuals.

Flasher? Yes, and what are you thinking?

My senior and I were travelling along the North South Expressway and there ahead of us was a police car. The police car was slow but it was using the fast lane.

Normally what people would do on a highway was to flash at the car ahead, signalling the car in front to give way. However this time, the scenario was different, my senior was hesitant to flash at the police in front of us.

I guess the hesitation was due to irrational fear towards the police in Malaysia. I believe the phobia of police do haunt most Malaysians because to certain extent, most of us have bad encounter with the policeman for one reason or another.

Since young, my parents would scare me whenever I was naughty or when I was crying to stop my misbehaviour or the police would come and arrest me, putting me in the lock-up where I would spend the rest of my life eating curry rice. And I guess psychologically, we still have problem overcoming our childhood trauma.

Well then, when grew older, we discovered that the police force has continuously disappointed us in one way or another. The public image of police force is often tarnished with corruption, abuse of power, ineffectiveness and inefficiency…

There are constant calls for reform within the police force. But in order for the police to do so, the ruling party (in this case UMNO) who controls the police force will have to undergo reform first. And in order for UMNO to change, we the people will have to press for change. Everything is interlinked and the change begins with us.

Though the road towards reform is as far apart as heaven is from the earth, we have to start somewhere, we have to start somehow, and we have to start something. I pray that I will live to see that day.

P/S: And according to Malaysian Insider, Inspector General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan’s contract has just been renewed for his “excellent” job.
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Q: What is an electrical kettle without its power cord?

A: It is no longer an electrical kettle. Without the power cord that supplies electricity, it has become another stainless steel water container used to store water.

In the same way, if I have lost my sense of purpose, I will no longer be the unique “me”. I am just like the mass out there wandering without any sense of direction, not knowing what to do with my own life.

It was a seeming slip-of-the-tongue. But I was not an idiot.

A & B seemed to be very close friends. And it was hard to imagine B would just give A a stab in the back until that day I saw it with my own eyes and heard with my own ears. A trusted B but B without any hesitation, traded A’s trust for personal gain.

I shuddered at the thought that someone would just get close to me, win my trust in order to destroy me. In the case of A and B, B was clearly trying to trample upon A in order to gain the upper hand.

The moral of the story is that it is good to trust but not too trusting. As Selangor State Assembly Speaker Teng Chang Kim puts it, “With such a ‘friend’ (who betrays), there is no need for enemy” because the so-called friend is more unpredictable and frightening than the enemy. You just do not know when to expect a stab from this “friend” of yours.

(Moon Hill, Yangshuo, China)

Yes, I know. I am still dwelling on Sunday because last Sunday was so extraordinarily ordinary.

It was during the Eucharistic Celebration, when the hymn was sung. I could not remember exactly the whole lyric but then “Take My Feet” and “Take My Eyes” were sung…

I wondered what “Take My Feet” and “Take My Eyes” would mean. It reminded me of another occasion where the song actually asked the Lord to “break me”. Sudden fear gripped me. And it was intriguing whether the rest would really reflect on what they prayed.

“What if the Lord is to take my feet and my hand but not using them?” Would I still be faithful?

I hope to have the courage to pray and mean what St Ignatius prayed and meant, “Take all that I have and I am… to be disposed according to Your will.”

(walking around Guilin in one day)

I know. It was Sunday and today is Friday.

I woke up last Sunday from my slumber to a hopeful morning. The hope was so strong that the minute I opened my sleepy eyes, I felt fully energized, in the spiritual sense. I suddenly felt the strength that “I could do all things with Him who strengthens me…”

The words of St. Francis of Assisi suddenly came to my mind, “Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

It was the first day of the week. It was a positive thought to start the week. It was a hectic week. Though six days has passed, the strength is still with me. And I am grateful to the Giver: it is good to "wake up".

(Shangri-La, Yangshuo, China)