Silence
.
At the wood carving stall, the beauty of Chinese Language was at its peak and we were all gripped by the mighty strokes of the Chinese calligraphy. The craftsmanship was simply amazing and every stroke was like “passing clouds flowing water”.
The masterpieces, carved with Chinese sayings, were lying around and hung around. All the art pieces were in simple yet wise Chinese saying, short but sweet. Each bore a powerful message.
A simple word of
“静” or “silence” showed how much we desired to find peace within ourselves. And “宁静致远”, which means “in silence can we see far”, told so much of what we have been practicing for the past two years in Ignatian Spirituality.
It is never easy to be silent and to tame the restless heart. And after two years of Ignatian Spirituality, we are still struggling with silence. Silence can be frightening. The movies like “Dead Silence”, “Silence of the Lamb” and so forth suggest that we are simply afraid of silence, and we are afraid of our own selves.
As I mediated on the Two Standards: the standard of Lucifer and the standard of Christ as proposed by the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola, I saw my own unworthiness.
In the silence, I felt the two movements within me. I wanted to do good, to change my way of life, to be a better person, and to take up the standard of Christ, but I found the evil side of me trying to justify my own actions. I consoled myself saying “it is just a small thing”, “it is okay to do this”, “maybe it is not wrong after all to do such thing”, “it seems harmless”…
When I was back from Guilin, I thought the one-week break would be able to cut me and detach me from my old way of living life. But the truth was that when I wanted to move closer to God, the obstacles seemed more apparent and daunting.
In silence, I saw
myself and the movements. Am I willing to move forward and do something about it? The silent journey towards perfect spiritual poverty continues.
And the psalmist prays, “Be still and know that I am God…”
At the wood carving stall, the beauty of Chinese Language was at its peak and we were all gripped by the mighty strokes of the Chinese calligraphy. The craftsmanship was simply amazing and every stroke was like “passing clouds flowing water”.The masterpieces, carved with Chinese sayings, were lying around and hung around. All the art pieces were in simple yet wise Chinese saying, short but sweet. Each bore a powerful message.
A simple word of
“静” or “silence” showed how much we desired to find peace within ourselves. And “宁静致远”, which means “in silence can we see far”, told so much of what we have been practicing for the past two years in Ignatian Spirituality.
It is never easy to be silent and to tame the restless heart. And after two years of Ignatian Spirituality, we are still struggling with silence. Silence can be frightening. The movies like “Dead Silence”, “Silence of the Lamb” and so forth suggest that we are simply afraid of silence, and we are afraid of our own selves.
As I mediated on the Two Standards: the standard of Lucifer and the standard of Christ as proposed by the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius of Loyola, I saw my own unworthiness.In the silence, I felt the two movements within me. I wanted to do good, to change my way of life, to be a better person, and to take up the standard of Christ, but I found the evil side of me trying to justify my own actions. I consoled myself saying “it is just a small thing”, “it is okay to do this”, “maybe it is not wrong after all to do such thing”, “it seems harmless”…
When I was back from Guilin, I thought the one-week break would be able to cut me and detach me from my old way of living life. But the truth was that when I wanted to move closer to God, the obstacles seemed more apparent and daunting.
In silence, I saw
myself and the movements. Am I willing to move forward and do something about it? The silent journey towards perfect spiritual poverty continues.
And the psalmist prays, “Be still and know that I am God…”
[Reflection on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, Annotation 136 - 147]
(Shangri-La, Yangshuo, China)
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