Drawing Strength
Am I getting closer to God? People say that the closer I am to God, the more unworthy I will (or should) feel. Does that explain my escalating sense of guilt? Sometimes I felt really close to God; but sometimes I felt really distanced from God. The tension within were clearly signs of consolation and desolation... One thought was to surrender to God; the other was to resist.
St Ignatius drew strength from his spiritual consolation and brought about inner conversion. What I failed is to really savour the sweetness of the consolations and special insights that were given from above... It could be due to the fact that I was “tepid, lazy and negligent in my spiritual exercises” [SpEx 322] that has caused the goodness of consolation left me or not being optimized.
Consolation comes, consolation goes. What change has it brought about in my life and in my own self? SpEx 323 states that “One who is in consolation should consider how he or she will act in future desolation, and store up new strength for that time”. How to “consider”? It does not sound easy at all. I find it hard to draw strength from during times of consolation; then how can I possibly store energy for times of desolation?
The apostles experienced heavenly consolation from the Transfiguration; but they still ran away when persecution came into picture. Later after the Resurrection and the Descend of the Holy Spirit, the scenario changed: the apostles were able to draw strength from their consolation and persevered till death. I believe it is all about learning, living and changing.
(Note: Later after I have written my reflection, I discovered somewhere that Ignatius encouraged others to do “Repetition of Prayer” to deepen their appreciation of previous prayer experiences by praying again on the points that touched and moved them spiritually. I think this is what I should do to draw strength and to store strength for the journey.)
[Reflection on Autobiography of St. Ignatius, Para. 10]
St Ignatius drew strength from his spiritual consolation and brought about inner conversion. What I failed is to really savour the sweetness of the consolations and special insights that were given from above... It could be due to the fact that I was “tepid, lazy and negligent in my spiritual exercises” [SpEx 322] that has caused the goodness of consolation left me or not being optimized.
Consolation comes, consolation goes. What change has it brought about in my life and in my own self? SpEx 323 states that “One who is in consolation should consider how he or she will act in future desolation, and store up new strength for that time”. How to “consider”? It does not sound easy at all. I find it hard to draw strength from during times of consolation; then how can I possibly store energy for times of desolation?
The apostles experienced heavenly consolation from the Transfiguration; but they still ran away when persecution came into picture. Later after the Resurrection and the Descend of the Holy Spirit, the scenario changed: the apostles were able to draw strength from their consolation and persevered till death. I believe it is all about learning, living and changing.
(Note: Later after I have written my reflection, I discovered somewhere that Ignatius encouraged others to do “Repetition of Prayer” to deepen their appreciation of previous prayer experiences by praying again on the points that touched and moved them spiritually. I think this is what I should do to draw strength and to store strength for the journey.)
[Reflection on Autobiography of St. Ignatius, Para. 10]
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